As you read this another Mother’s Day has come and gone. I always call my Mom on Mother’s Day and typically ask if she received the flowers I sent. When she says no I say that’s crazy, the florist must have screwed up again. I first tried using that line on her 30yrs ago and she was not buying any of it. It kind of sucked because for the next 25 years I had to send flowers so I didn’t look like a shmuck. Then I got smarter. I would call all my brothers and tell them they really need to send Mom flowers for her special day. When I convinced one to do it my yearly call on Mother’s Day changed to: “Did you get the flowers my brother and I sent” and she would always say yes honey, thank you very much.
Apologize before it’s too late.
Since she’s now over 80 I thought of a few things I had better apologize for because you never know how long it may be before our time on earth is over. I was the 4th and last child my Mom had, and I came out at a whopping 10lbs 4 oz! So this Mother’s Day I apologized to her since I’m probably the reason that she pees a little when she sneezes. Trying to show that my apology was sincere I also sent her a case of Depends diapers for Mother’s Day. As hard as it is to believe she didn’t see the humor.
Parents Love to give advice.
As odd as this may sound my Mother likes to give me advise on basically everything. I know, weird right? It’s the way she does it that I find so amusing. She always asks, “Would you like my advice?”. My answer is irrelevant, it never matters if I say yes or no, I’m going to get it anyway.
Explain to your Mom why she’s a good Mom.
This Mother’s Day she talked about the choices she made when we were young and how she wishes she could have been a better mother. I cheered her up by explaining that even though she wasn’t perfect she should get great joy in knowing she made the perfect son, it took 4 tries, but I knew it was me when she stopped having kids after I was born. I think she finally believed me when I said I know you’re a great mother because in my entire youth you never tried to feed me to a shark or sell me to a circus. I know after having 4 boys it had to be a real possibility.
Greg Rosen is a Father, Husband, Realtor and humorist fiction writer for several major newspapers. Questions or comments can be sent to [email protected]. If you like what you see please share.