As a Realtor I think part of my job is to keep people happy even though unhappy couples amounted to 23% of my business last year. So, as a way of providing direction to all those confused on what to get their significant other let me give you the steps to follow so you don’t screw this up again. Guys, do not under any circumstances do the following (this is one of those areas not open for negotiations): Do not think you can just text “Love you, Happy Valentine’s Day” and nothing else, thinking that will be good (unless you’re prepared to make this your last Valentine’s Day with her). Next, do not send a racy photo of yourself. You and I both know if you can’t stand in front of a mirror after a shower and look at yourself without laughing she probably won’t appreciate the effort. You’re better off sending her a picture of Tom Cruise in a bathing suit if you’re trying to inspire her for romance. Of course when you get home later with a bottle of wine and a nice card you might consider a blindfold for her if you’re still going that direction. Sexy texting: I like it, it could work, just be sure that your new iPhone doesn’t grab it and turn it into a group text which could include parents and other friends. Flowers: You can’t go wrong with flowers unless of course you’re sending them to another person that may not be your “normal delivery” and the flower company sends them to the address on your credit card and not the intended; this actually happens more than you know on busy days like this one. I think this is the number one reason why homicides jump way up on Valentine’s Day. It’s true, I don’t just make this stuff up. Considering doing nothing for her on Valentine’s Day? Probably not a wise decision if you knew that this is the only night of the year Morticians work all night. As for the ladies, simply change you’re routine from once a month to twice in February and your guy will get everything he could want for Valentine’s Day. If you need assistance getting in the mood you could try the wine before he gets home, watch a few Tom Cruise movies and if it helps put on the blindfold before he gets home, seriously he won’t care.