The Sandy Fire Department is having an election for the board of directors. Since I was a volunteer firefighter and EMT with them I am thinking of running for the position. I like the idea, but I have concerns. First, do I have enough money to keep replacing all the election signs people love to keep throwing away? Second, I know, from actual comments, my personality is not for everyone. My solution was to hire a company to find out what people think of me then have them develop a marketing plan to help me win.
I received the results.
They discovered that I am uncomfortable with anything besides him/he when I describe myself. They said I should consider adding she/her to my marketing. Though it sounds intriguing I am not sure I want to identify as a woman. What I am afraid of is with my good looks if I added she/her, my male friends may start hitting on me and I am not sure how to properly function as a women might.
Stop bashing Drag Queens
They also suggested I quit posting on social media my opposition to drag queens. Maybe even consider finding a nice outfit and try it. I was reminded of that old saying. “You should walk a mile in their shoes, or high heels in this case, before judging them.”
Experience matters.
I know from experience I am much more comfortable helping remove women’s clothing than putting on women’s clothing. I also hate talking on stage. Add large crowds and I would have a panic attack and pass out. I also do not take criticism well. Since the age group targeted at many drag queen events seems to be kids from 4-10yrs those little bastards would tear me apart. On a side note, I did buy some black slinky panty hose and I looked fabulous in them. But it was not enough to go over to the other side if you know what I mean. I listened to everything they had to say since they are the same marketing company most politicians use, and they had one more suggestion.
Delete your Browser history.
They suggested removing all my browser history, which was highly recommended by what they said was “every one of our 26 employees at the firm”. I guess the benefit to doing that now would be that I no longer must have my best friend do it quickly and quietly when I leave this world. Yes girls, this is a real thing.
The Decision.
In the end I decided not to follow any of their recommendations. The final straw was when I found out they were the same company that Bud Light hired to run the newest marketing campaign they have going on. I really do not want to see signs saying, “Boycott Greg Rosen.” I have never run for an elected position, but I think that would be a bad thing.
Greg Rosen is a father, Husband, Realtor, and humorist writer for several major newspapers. Questions or comments can be sent to [email protected].
Please share if you like what you see.