I never thought I was gullible until I saw my birthday plans fade away into the sunset. As the big night approached, I discussed my romantic plans with my wife, which she agreed to. It started with a nice dinner followed by a drive to the local viewpoint to set the mood. Upon arriving home, I said I will feed the dogs while you get ready. 8 minutes later I found her sound asleep in what I would describe as granny pajamas. It was at this point I knew, I was in fact gullible.
Nathan Zohner – Master Manipulator
Let me introduce to you Nathan Zohner. Nathan conducted a study that was so profound that a bunch of politicians asked him to speak to congress to find out how he did it, so on Oct 21, 1997 that was exactly what he did. Nathan said: I Have just completed a study showing how gullible people can be and how science can be manipulated to fit the whims of social engineering extremists and then, he told them how he did it. I was going to say I wonder why they invited him to speak, but I think if I did, I would have that Gullible thing going on again.
Turns out a lot of people are gullible
Nathan did a science project on “Gullibility” where he proved it was possible to convince a large group of people that something was bad when it was not. The report was on dihydrogen monoxide. He said the key was creating fear, so he said this odorless tasteless compound kills thousands of Americans each year. In addition, he explained it can cause severe burns while in gas or solid form and is also found in acid rain. He then started a campaign to ban it. His efforts succeeded when 86% of the students who voted agreed to remove it from there school.
What is dihydrogen monoxide?
Think it is an isolated incident? Nope! A radio station thought Nathan’s science project was funny and broadcast that dihydrogen monoxide was coming out of your faucet, they did not say it was dangerous, just that it was literally coming out of your faucet. The panic spread across the state of Florida, restaurants shut down not knowing what to do and thousands started boiling their water. Over the next week public health officials were all over the news trying to tell everyone that dihydrogen monoxide is just water.
I always wondered what happened to Nathan Zohner after finishing school. I never found out for sure, but I heard a rumor he was hired by Facebook after graduating to run the “Facebook fact checkers division”. I’m not sure why anyone would want to hire someone who has mastered the art of deception by distorting facts. I imagine it was because Facebook wanted to make sure nothing like that ever happens on their social media site. I guess we should all be thanking Mark Zuckerberg for making sure the world is safe from misinformation. Before sending this to my editor I had my wife read it. The good news is she doesn’t think I’m gullible anymore, she thinks I skipped right over that and went straight to stupid.
Greg Rosen is a Father, Husband, Realtor and humorist writer for several major newspapers. Questions or comments can be sent to [email protected].